they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong