I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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