I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
