It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
