Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
