we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
