You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize