whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
