I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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