I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I want a musical about memes.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
