This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
