So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize