happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
