I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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