His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
