If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize