SEEEEXXX PLEASE
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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