so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
