just tell him i said nine months
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
