You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
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I wish there were birth control emojis
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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