Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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