I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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