New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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