How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Randomize
