So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I pour the whiskey from now on
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize