Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
