i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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