we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
