I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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