"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
