i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
