I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
