I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
