Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
