Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
