So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
