If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I need a burrito and a hug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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