i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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