If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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