according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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