my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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