If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
