I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
