I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
