You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
