Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
