I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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