physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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