MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
