I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
