I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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