Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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