put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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