I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
