There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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