You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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