Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
