Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize