How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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