Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
