spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
