just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
